A large duffel bag hung awkwardly askew across my chest, my messenger bag hung opposite.
In tow was the rest of my belongings in a wheeled suitcase.

Leaving failures behind me
I entered the airport's departures hall.

In a row of seats against the tall glass windows near my airline's check-in desk sat an aging woman.
Paper birds trapped in silent flight hung overhead.
Her hair was now peppered,
her features were now heavy with loss.

She had travelled several hours by bus and train to say goodbye,
    again.

A few awkward words were exchanged as I removed my bags,
    and we hugged.
Fear, loathing, longing and love welled up.
This moment lived in dreams and nightmares a decade old.

She tried to apologize to the boy I once was,
but for everything that wouldn't matter to a nine year old boy.
She didn't apologize for leaving.

I absolved my mother without giving her forgiveness, explaining
I would not be the person I was in that moment if it was not for the life that lead me to it,
and I realized I liked who I was in that moment.

This is the first time that I've written down an idea and let it evolve over several drafts. I finished this draft yesterday after trying to explain what I like in poetry. I wrote:

My aesthetic for poetry is distinct, subjective, and personal. I usually prefer free verse. I appreciate grand ideas presented with simple language (but there are exceptions). And I am fond of emotionally charged imagery. I don't regard my opinion as being definitive of any widely held aesthetic but just that, an opinion. Which is all to say I know what I like and its very possibly not whats popular.

I have a lot of photography that I have yet to do anything with...

( And here is a poem )

Last night I helped Jessica with her chap book layout, and took some portraits for the book.

I'm short on words right now..

Past

(long over due)

I went up to the Individual World Poetry Slam three (four) weekends ago, 3rd and 4th of the month. I went up with Molly and Fury. I had a wonderful time, and saw lots of friends from the east coast. Molly, Fury, and I hung out on Granville Island, went to the Granville Island Brewery, walked through the market, picked up some hand crafted sake! And Ryler got on final stage!

Wednesday, Thrusday and Friday I was in Tacoma at the Land Surveyors' Association of Washington annual conference. I went to the the Land Surveyor in Training (LSIT) Prep sessions, I had a good time and learned a good deal.

Present

At the moment I'm sitting in a great coffee house in Portland, Palio Dessert & Espresso House, and they made a decent macchiato, its always a good sign when it actually shows up on the menu.

I'm in Portland visiting my grandparents who I haven't seen for a couple years, which is largely my fault. I haven't been down to Portland for even longer.

Driving here from Tacoma, as I started going over the Columbia River into Oregon, I got stupid happy. When I was younger I would get ridiculously excited when we crossed the Columbia, for one because its an awesome bridge, but mainly because it meant we were almost to Grandpa and Grandma's. It feels like a grand entrance into Oregon.

I've been reflecting and connecting with a lot of my happy childhood memories lately, and it's been very rewarding.

Future

Immediate future, I'm planning to go see the Willamette Stone up in the hills of Portland. Its a survey marker that is the origin for the entire Land Survey System in Oregon and Washington. Almost every property boundary in the two states can be traced to the marker.

Farther in the future, I'm getting much more serious about trying to become a Professional Land Surveyor (PLS). In two and a half years I will have enough experience to take the LSIT test, and if I stay on track I could be a PLS before I turn 30. I love the work that I'm doing and I find it very rewarding, so I think its a great fit for me.